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ALSO BY SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY

The How of Happiness

THE MYTHS

of

HAPPINESS

What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does

SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY

THE PENGUIN PRESS | NEW YORK | 2013

THE PENGUIN PRESS

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc. , 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA • Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc. ) • Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) • Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) • Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi–110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) • Penguin Books (South Africa), Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North 2193, South Africa • Penguin China, B7 Jiaming Center, 27 East Third Ring Road North, Chaoyang District, Beijing 100020, China

Penguin Books Ltd. , Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published in 2013 by The Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Copyright © Sonja Lyubomirsky, 2013

All rights reserved

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING IN PUBLICATION DATA

Lyubomirsky, Sonja.

    The myths of happiness : what should make you happy but doesn’t, what shouldn’t make you happy but does / Sonja Lyubomirsky.

      p.   cm.

  Includes bibliographical references and index.

  ISBN 978-1-101-60550-9

1. Happiness.   I. Title.

  BF575. H27L983  2013

  152. 4'2—dc23 2012030936

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

TO ISABELLA

Contents

Also by Sonja Lyubomirsky

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Introduction: The Myths of Happiness

PART I

CONNECTIONS

CHAPTER 1

I’ll Be Happy When .  .  . I’m Married to the Right Person

CHAPTER 2

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . My Relationship Has Fallen Apart

CHAPTER 3

I’ll Be Happy When .  .

CHAPTER 4

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . I Don’t Have a Partner

PART II

WORK AND MONEY

CHAPTER 5

I’ll Be Happy When .  .  . I Find the Right Job

CHAPTER 6

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . I’m Broke

CHAPTER 7

I’ll Be Happy When .  .  . I’m Rich

PART III

LOOKING BACK

CHAPTER 8

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . the Test Results Were Positive

CHAPTER 9

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . I Know I’ll Never Play Shortstop for the Yankees

CHAPTER 10

I Can’t Be Happy When .  .  . the Best Years of My Life Are Over

Conclusion: Where Happiness Is Really Found

Acknowledgments

Notes

Index

About the Author

“Life is so constructed, that the event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation. ”

—CHARLOTTE BRONTË

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have. ”