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ti tll e page

Wallbanger

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Alice Clayton

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Omnific Publishing

Dall as

P rai s e for W all ll banger:

“Wallbanger is an instant classic, with plenty of laugh out loud moments and riveting characters—highly recommended!”

~ NYT and USA Today Bestselling Author Jennifer Probst

“Hilarious, romantic, and compulsively readable, Wallbanger delivers the perfect blend of sex, romance, and baked goods.”

~Ruthie Knox, best-selling author of About Last Night

“Alice Clayton strikes again, seducing me with her real woman sex appeal, unparal eled wit and addicting snark; leaving me laughing, blushing, and craving knock all the paintings off the wall sex of my very own.”

~Brittany Gibbons, brittanyherself.com

“Caroline Reynolds. Finally a woman who knows her way around a man and a KitchenAid Mixer. She had us at zucchini bread!”

~Curvy Girl Guide

Copyri ght Inform ati on

W all ll banger, Copyri ght © 2012 by A ll i c e Cll ayton

A ll ll Ri ghts Res erved. E xc ept as perm i tted under the U.S . Copyri ght A c t of 1976, no part of thi s publ i c ati on m ay be reproduc ed, di s tri buted, or trans m i tted i n any form or by any m eans , or s tored i n a databas e or retri eval s ys tem , wi thout pri or wri tten perm i s s i on of the publ i s her.

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Om ni fi c P ubll i s hi ng

10000 North Central E xpres s way, Dall ll as , T X 75231

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Fi rs t Om ni fi c eB ook edi ti on, Novem ber 2012

Fi rs t Om ni fi c trade paperbac k edi ti on, Novem ber 2012

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T he c harac ters and events i n thi s book are fi c ti ti ous . A ny s i m i ll ari ty to real pers ons , ll i vi ng or dead, i s c oi nc i dental and not i ntended by the author.

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Li brary of Congres s Catal ogui ng-i n-P ubll i c ati on Data

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Cll ayton, A ll i c e.

W all ll banger / A ll i c e Cll ayton – 1s t ed

IS B N: 978-1-623420-03-1

1. S an Frans i s c o— Fi c ti on. 2. Contem porary Rom anc e— Fi c ti on. 3. Interi or Des i gn— Fi c ti on. 4. Rom anti c Hum or— Fi c ti on. I. T i tll e

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Cover Des i gn by Mi c ha S tone and A m y B rokaw

Interi or B ook Des i gn by Coreen Montagna

Dedi c ati on

To my mom, for letting me have coconut on my birthday cake

even though no one else likes it.

To my dad, for reading me Garfield comics

until we laughed so hard we were both crying.

Thank you

Chapter One

“OH, GOD.”

Thump.

“Oh, God.”

Thump thump.

What the…

“Oh, God, that’s so good!”

I scrambled up out of sleep, confused as I looked around the strange room. Boxes on the floor. Pictures propped against the wall.

My new bedroom, in my new apartment, I reminded myself, placing both hands on the duvet, grounding myself with the luxurious thread count.

Even half asleep, I was aware of my thread count.

“Mmmm…Yeah, baby. Right there. Just like that…Don’t stop, don’t stop!”

Oh boy…