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SHOOTIN’ THE SH*T WITH KEVIN SMITH

THE BEST OF SMODCAST

Illustrations by Michael Macari

TITAN BOOKS

SHOOTIN’ THE SH*T WITH KEVIN SMITH

THE BEST OF SMODCAST

ISBN-13 9781848569423

Published by

Titan Books

A division of

Titan Publishing Group Ltd

144 Southwark St

London

SE1 0UP

First edition September 2009

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Shootin’ the Sh*t With Kevin Smith: The Best of SModcast

copyright © 2009 Kevin Smith. All rights reserved.

Front and back cover photo © Albert Ortega.

Illustrations © 2009 Michael Macari.

The publishers would like to thank SModcast producer

Ken Plume for his invaluable help with this book.

This book contains transcriptions of live conversations, as heard on the podcast SModcast. These conversations are for entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed in this book are not necessarily those of the publisher, and the publisher accepts no responsibility for inaccuracies or omissions, and the publisher specifically disclaims any liability, loss, or risk, whether personal, financial, or otherwise, that is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from the contents of this book.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

Printed and bound in the United States of America

BOOBERTY!

DEDICATION

For Jen — because she lets me candidly share with strangers so much of my life. It doesn’t sound like a big deal ‘til you realize it’s her life as well. I have a very cool wife, is what I’m saying.

SPECIAL THANKS

Ken Plume — SModcast’s own Jam Master Jay, the mix-master general, whose audio presence, sadly, doesn’t translate to print. But aurally? Without him? We sound empty.

Elliot Greenburg — He taught Scott and I how to use the equipment — very important and necessary step in podcasting or any electronic venture.

Ming — Who always makes sure Scott and I are floating somewhere through cyberspace.

CONTENTS

From SModcast 01: Fisting Flipper

How the name SModcast was created

From SModcast 02: A Dubious Superpower

The Alanis Morissette mugging story

From SModcast 04: Can I Get a Witness?

Kevin’s shame at jerking off on a nude Jen’s calf

From SModcast 05: Nipples You Can Hang a Coat On

Kevin and the YMCA

From SModcast 09: Red, White, But Never Blue, eh

Dogs and sex

From SModcast 10: Eating a Chicken’s Soul

Weight loss and population control