DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
“And
“And yours,” he replied with a smile,
“is willfully to misunderstand them. ”
—
CONTENTS
Dedication
Epigraph
Part One
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Part Two
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
After
Acknowledgments
Back Ad
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
PART
ONE
ONE
I AM AWARE as I step into the common room that the majority of people here are almost dead, including me. I have been reliably informed that post-Christmas blues are entirely normal and that we should expect to feel somewhat numb after the “happiest” time of the year, but I don’t feel so different now to how I felt on Christmas Eve, or on Christmas Day, or on any other day since the Christmas holidays started. I’m back now and it’s another year. Nothing is going to happen.
I stand there. Becky and I look at each other.
“Tori,” says Becky, “you look a little bit like you want to kill yourself. ”
She and the rest of Our Lot have sprawled themselves over a collection of swivel chairs around the common room computer desks. As it’s the first day back, there has been a widespread hair-and-makeup effort across the entire Sixth Form, and I immediately feel inadequate.
I deflate into a chair and nod philosophically. “It’s funny because it’s true. ”
She looks at me some more but doesn’t really look, and we laugh at something that wasn’t funny. Becky then realizes that I am in no mood to do anything, so she moves away.
I lean into my arms and fall half-asleep.My name is Victoria Spring. I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.
Rebecca Allen is probably my only real friend at the moment. She is also probably my best friend. I am as yet unsure whether these two facts are related. In any case, Becky Allen is very pretty and has very long purple hair. It has come to my attention that if you have purple hair, people often look at you. If you are pretty with purple hair, people often
Right now, Becky’s talking to this other girl from Our Lot, Evelyn Foley. Evelyn is considered “retro” because she has messy hair and wears a necklace with a triangle on it.
“The
I’m not sure whether Becky genuinely likes Evelyn. Sometimes I think people only pretend to like each other.